You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
