If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
