i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize