i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
