Kareoke will never be a sober sport
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
