She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
