i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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