Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize