I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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