So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My bed smells like the plague
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
