Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
