I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
There r osticjed everywhere
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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