My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
