You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
