When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize