yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
