covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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