Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
