I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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