CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
