Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I hate all girls vehemently.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
