Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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