it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
is wine microwaveable?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize