dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
