He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize