YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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