I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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