Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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