but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
