R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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