official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
