Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I have aggressive nipples.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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