So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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