Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
