I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
