Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
