I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I have feelings that need drinking.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
