Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize