Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
