it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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