we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
