haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
