I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She's not a foreskin expert like you
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
