I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
