Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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