YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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