so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
