You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
