Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm both gender and math confused
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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