I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
