The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
