planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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