Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
