I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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