So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
