Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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