real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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