The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Holy shit dude........stairs
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
