Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
